6/27/2015 04:00:00 PM

Do a ton of things! I just realized that I'm such a chicken when it comes to things that are outside my comfort zone. As much as my soul craves for excitement and adventure, there's always this voice at the back of my head assuring me that everything will go wrong. Despite being quite a pessimist, I really appreciate imagining what I could achieve if I was not scared and if I didn't believe in failures. It kind of serves as an inspiration for me to still try and do what I want to do without fear and with complete faith in myself. So, here's a list of stuff I would do if I knew I wouldn't fail!

Do more dancing
This is more of a regret. I've been dancing for the most of my elementary years up until my high school years and then I stopped when I arrived in college. The dance troupe at college was really intimidating and I was very afraid I won't get accepted or I'd make a complete fool of myself since I'm not the best dancer and I can do zero stunts, haha. Because of that, I didn't even try to audition!

Try more in school and participate in organizations
I keep on asking myself why I don't try my absolute best in my academics and the silly reason I always come up with is that I am afraid to fail. Quite ironic but then again it's very stupid of me. Same goes with organizations. I was afraid I will fail to connect with the people which is why I don't even try to be active. Well, I'm planning to do grad school after college so maybe there's a second chance for me!

Speak up more
Inside my head, I'm a very opinionated person and I like hearing other people's opinions about various topics as well. If I wasn't afraid of judgments, I would certainly voice out my thoughts more (as long as it does not hurt others) and in turn listen more to other people. That way I could learn more about them and learn more about myself as well. I think it's very important to let other people know what you think and how you feel as long as it's at the right place at the right time.

Go to places and travel the country
Ah, my dream of traveling and going to places. It's funny how I long so much for travels when I'm not even used to going out by myself. What's hindering me from going on adventures right now, though, is the fact that I have an overprotective family (still figuring out how to deal with this) and the fear that I might get killed (our country is definitely not one of the safest places in the world). I always enjoy travelling with my family but now that I'm in my twenties, I really want to go to cities and countries I've never been to either alone or with friends. This serves as an inspiration for me to start saving up!

Build and nurture relationships
I'm really really shy and sometimes I think I have social anxiety or something which is why talking to people and even my friends scares me and even makes my breathing irregular. Haha, it's quite embarrassing to admit but it's true. This is why I can't be clingy to friends and why I can't easily build friendships with others. I always assume that I won't be accepted or I'd come off as a complete weirdo or something. A few lessons on social interactions will help me so much! Anyone interested?

This list kinda proves how cowardly and how afraid of failure I am. I am trying to change that everyday, though, through small acts that push me farther away from my comfort zone. I will always be afraid of failing but I think as long as I'm trying and not giving up, then that won't be called a failure right? If you ever feel afraid of doing something you really want to do just because of the doubts inside your head, know that it's normal to feel that way. That everyone goes through the same thing. That it's okay as long as you don't let your fears control your life. Sending my love and light to you!

Disclaimer: The photo used is not mine

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